World Domination Executive Statement

Complete mental submission of humanity through a combination of annoyance, pop culture and High-fructose Corn Syrup. Or the use of a really really big laser.

Domination Schedule

Step One: Take Over Planet Earth.
Step Two: Cancel American Idol
Step Three: Take Synchronized Swimming out of the Olympics.
Step Four: Celebrate.

Motto

"At some point we will annoy humanity into submission! Then Cake!"

Evil Lair - New

Secret. But there is a jacuzzi.

Evil Lair - Old

Still on the market for 2 years.

Organization Structure and Departments

Executive Team
1. Me ,The Emperor
2. Short-Lived Vice-Emperor
     To blame and execute based on any failure from my decisions. Replaced immediately.
3. Executive Chef

Evil Domination Departments
(This is an ever expanding list)
1. The Department of Too-Small Buttonhole Development
2. The Department of High-fructose Corn Syrup Distribution
3. City Government of New Orleans
4. The Jokes About The French Committee
5. Pot-Hole Development and Establishment Department
6. Brittany Spears PR Team
7. Purse-Sized Dog Breeders of America
      motto: "Like rats with pedicures"
8. The Division of 'Guesstimation'
9. The Movie Talkers Association
10. The Department of Rationalizations
      motto: "We are not telemarketers, we are offering our existing customers
     new opportunities"
11. The Celebrity Couple Naming Department
12. The Department of Objective Statement Writers for Resumes
      motto: "We will help you people persons find employment utilizing your wide range of skills in
     a teamwork environment."
13. The Department of Evil Lair, Giant Laser and Taffy Machine Maintenance.
14. Disney
      motto: "Marketing Your Childhood Since 1923"
15. The Department of Motor Vehicles Customer Service Training Committee
      motto: "Please take a number"
16. The Department of Fruity Drinks and Wine Coolers
      motto: "Because every good hangover should start with the taste of passion fruit"
17. The #2 Pencil Superiority League
      motto: "#1 Pencils Are For Those ARTSY Kids."
18. The Association of Coffee Stand Workers Incapable of Putting the Lid On Correctly
19. The Department of Annoying Ringtones and Cute Things to Hang on Your Keychain
      motto: "Because Bach never sounded better."
20. The International School of Fast Lane Braking
      motto: "Don't you kids realize it's a speed limit...not a speed minimum."
21. Emoticon Development
      motto: " ;) "
22. The Lead Paint Manufacturers of Greater China
      motto: "Hey...we don't make your kid eat it"
23. The Department of Bureaucracy
      motto: "Our motto is only available if you have filled out form 163-C-F67 in Triplicate"
24. The Department of Human Resources
25. Cafeteria Culinary School of Greater Weehawken